The Main Reason Couples Stay Together During Rough Patches, According To Experts

It might seem strange that a couple would stay together, even if their relationship is difficult. When they’re bickering, or going through constant ups and downs, you might think they should do each other a favor and break up already. But when you take into account all the time and energy that goes into a relationship, it makes sense why some folks choose to stay anyway.

“When we enter into a relationship, most individuals enter with the intention of having a long lasting, fulfilling, committed relationship,” Eliana Goldstein, a certified professional relationship coach, tells Bustle. “We put time, effort, and work into the relationship almost like an investment.” And we expect it to give back in some way, or to go somewhere meaningful.

“To leave that relationship without the ‘return’ makes us feel like we failed,” Goldstein says. “Like we ‘wasted’ our time on this person and this relationship and, often, we’re not yet ready to acknowledge that.” Instead of moving on, we stick around and wait to see if things will improve. Or we find ways to ignore the problems, so that a difficult decision doesn’t have to be made.